The CONSPIRING UNIVERSE

Drops of rain splattered against his glasses. Thunder rolled in the distance. “Not going to wait today” Sailor told himself. The monsoons brought heavy downpour at the wrong times and also the wrong places. Sailor was headed back home, when he was caught in the rain.

The rain continued to grow and the visibility was near zero.

Sailor was completely drenched and the rain was hurting his eyes but he didn’t stop. He went on at a dangerous speed; he trusted his bike and his own skills. At seventy kilometres per hour and eyes more shut than open he heard a horn blare. In a moment he was blinded by the fog lights of a truck.

That morning, Sailor sat with his friend, Long John at the coffee shop... “July has always been an awesome month; until this year.” Sailor said.

“What? Why do you say so?” asked Long John. “You see, all the while, in the past few years, July was the month with the maximum number of friends’ birthdays. I have always spent July nights in high society. But this time I haven’t had alcohol for the whole of this month” said Sailor “oh! That’s cool; actually brilliant” said Long John. “I haven’t smoked in two days either” said Sailor. “What? Wow! I mean, hasn’t gold flake shut down yet? Are you serious? Wait a minute… Sailor has a girlfriend. Who is it? Out with it!”

“What? Nonsense, I don’t smoke for two days and I have a girlfriend? If only it was that easy! Don’t jump to conclusions”. “I am de-toxing” said Sailor. “It is ok, dude” said Long John

“I am always right! You don’t see it that way because you believe you are right!” said Sailor. It was afternoon and he was in a strange land addressing a huge bunch of people. An amber coloured light gave everything around it a golden tint. “You have no right to treat us like this, this is our home” screamed out a voice in the crowd. It was Water Lily. “Now it begins” thought Sailor to himself. “Before anything else, I totally agree with Lily” said another voice in the crowd. Sailor was laughing to himself, “every single time, we so totally agree with her” “truth is that I agree with her too, most of the times, but it doesn’t come across as that way and I am the bad guy” thought the Sailor.

“As I was saying, we need to get to the Fountain of Pleasure. I will tell y’all, I can lead you there. I know the way” said Sailor waving his sword in the direction of a hill. “Before anything else, I totally agree with Lily” said another voice in the crowd, “but we have already tried it. You need to think of something else, because you are so wrong like last time and the one before that. You are so wrong”

“Never mind! I haven’t even laid out the plan yet!” said Sailor. “The fountain is fed by the river dopamine, which has gone dry. We just need to dig a bit till we strike some. It is possible. When you want something, the universe conspires against you. You have to fight it to get it ….”

“Last I heard it was The Universe which conspires to get you what you want” said Long John, “and your brain is craving for a smoke, river dopamine I believe”.

“That would be Paulo, but in my universe, I am the saviour” said Sailor. “Did you realise you have been hallucinating? And you were talking rubbish” said Long John.

“Yeah, it is called detox. Let’s go eat” said Sailor. “What? We ate just about an hour ago. How can you be hungry already?” asked Long John. “Food, satiety, smokes, dopamine, pleasure… do these words ring a bell? Go figure” said Sailor.

They finished eating chicken rolls. Long john let out a burp. “Dude, we keep eating like this, I gain ten kilograms and you won’t even gain one. Is there no other distraction that you have?” asked Long John “okay man, let us talk; about life” said Sailor. “What?! Life? What do you know apart from drinking, smoking and being sarcastic?” asked Long John.

“Yeah fine! Let’s talk about chicks.” Said sailor

The hairlines of the binoculars were focussed. “Target in sight” said Sailor. “Cant get visual on it. Too much distraction” replied Long John. They were in a safari trying to spot deer. “It is a grassland here man, dry as a desert, if not for the golden skinned deer, I wouldn’t have accompanied you” Long John told Sailor who was peering into the distance without batting his eyelids. “There she is; Bambi.” said Sailor. “Isn’t that what you would want? Meet Bambi; she ll make a good pet. You really think about it, and I am betting the universe will conspire to help you.” “Sailor, sailor…you there? Wake up man. Bambi is getting away” said Long John. “Oh don’t disturb me, I have her in sight” replied Sailor. “What? You are hallucinating again! She just walked past. You are not looking in the right direction, actually you aren’t even looking” said Long John. “The bloody universe is conspiring again” said Sailor.

“You sure you are just detoxing and have not taken anything. You do smell like Pot!” asked Long John. “I have been with you all the while, I didn’t smoke, leave alone pot” said Sailor.

“The universe….”said long John and his voice trailed.

“You stupid fool. Can’t you see where you are riding? You wanted to go under my wheels and die. Of all the vehicles in the universe…” the truck driver was screaming. It was still raining so no crowd. Sailor stood just inches away from the truck still blinded by its lights. He had managed to break right in time.

“The universe is always conspiring” he thought. He wheeled out his bike and left. The driver was still fuming.

8^th mile, the milestone read. Sailor had to turn right to reach home. He didn’t turn. Instead he kept going, the needle of the speedometer oscillating between eighty and ninety. Rain battered the tarred highway, rivulets flowing in all directions. Way past the 8^th mile, the bike sputtered. It coughed and coughed till the engine just died. Sailor braked hard and wheels spun. He fell off the bike and landed near a rock ledge. He pulled his bike to a side and climbed up on the ledge. His Mobile phone was low on battery. He dialled Long John’s number; the phone made a strange noise and went out. He felt his pockets. He found a cigarette and it was dry. “So much for abstinence” he said to himself and lit the cigarette.

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Listening to: A Fine Frenzy - Hope for the Hopeless