DILLI dally

A peafowl pecked on the ground. The mist was all around, settling slowly, moistening the soil. A farmer’s wife dusted the windows of her house. She was fuming as she had woken up late. The farmer waited for the water to boil in the boiler. He was late too.

A stack of thick black smoke appeared in the distance. Within a few minutes, the express train chugged by the tracks next to his house. A group of semi naked children ran with train waving at the passengers.

Sailor was on the train. He looked out of the door, to see the train curving around the tracks. A gush of wind ruffled his hair. He waved back to the children.

“We are there already?” asked a sleepy eyed Long John who had just woken up to brush his teeth.

“Yep, we are in DILLI” said the Sailor. “Just outside it”

There is this thing about Delhi, apart from being the capital of India, it is very far away from the homeland of Sailor; almost like a new world.

When one goes to a new place, the first issues to be addressed are those of food, shelter and transport.

All around Delhi, Sailor only spotted able bodied men and women; like they say hatte khatte log. So he wondered what they ate. The lodge where the sailor stayed was where many lodges are situated; a dingy, narrow crowded area called Pahargunj.

A hungry Sailor and his Systole brethren set out to look for hood. Not that they were hunters living in a pre historic food, but Delhi has a problem, no darshinis like in Bangalore. Fast food culture is like a million light years away from Delhi. When in Bangalore, if one feels hungry, all that needs to be done is a hop skip and jump to a fast food joint next door (there are at least 5 on any main road). But when in Delhi, Sailor had to hunt. Either there are big snobbish restaurants and MNC joints or small carts selling junk.

It is quite surprising how a hatta khatta aam aadmi in Delhi survives. Considering they make only potato grub. Morning breakfast, Sailor asked the waiter, “breakfast main kya hai?” (What’s for break fast?)

Pat came the reply, “aaloo ke paranthe aur jalebi” (potato parothas and jalebis).

So first day, it is fine. Sailor is smitten with being in the capital, so orders potato grub. Dismay happens when he asked, “khane main kya hai” “dinner main kya hai” at various points of time on the many days, there was one standard reply, “ aaloo ke paranthe, aur aaloo ke sabji”

Aaloo aaloo aaloo, no wonder they attain the shapes of what they eat, if the planets had aligned well, the Sailor would get daal makhni and nothing else. Only in some places like chaandni chowk did he find good stuff. Some heavenly chats! But of course they were not without the ubiquitous aaloo.

And also, it is a meat eater’s paradise. Purely awesome chicken which float in butter is an absolute delight.

The auto rickshaws of Delhi are the biggest rip offs. The minute Sailor flagged down an auto, the driver said, “pachas rupiya” (fifty rupees) and then any destination, “sau rupiya (hundred rupees) and its increasing multiples. No question of the autowallah turning back to actually start the meter.

But the autos are not everything, there is the METRO.

The first wonder of modern India, the metro is convenience. Not only is it economical and fast, it has hordes of good looking women travelling on it.

So many that Sailor and his friends made mindless trips on the metro just to look.

If only Bangalore had so many good looking woman, no, if only Bangalore had a metro; wishful thinking indeed.

Sailor went to Delhi to write an exam. It was mockery at its best. An exam for residency in the country’s premier med school is a shame when they ask how fireflies produce light. It is general knowledge of course but what will a doc do knowing that? Or it is a secret plan to send such doctors for rural service and shine fire fly lights in a proctoscope instead of electric bulbs; power conservation and effective service. Whattaplan!

Anyway everyone knows who isn’t getting a residency in AIIMS, so it is best left at that. A story of the fox and the grapes is taught to kids for a reason.

After some twenty five megatons of aaloo parathas, Sailor got to eat idli vada; But at what price? Seventy bucks for one idli and one vada.

To compensate, bhaang is available at two bucks a pack. That it is sold as an ayurvedic medication is very convenient

So there was enough bhaang and booze to drown the sorrow of a bad exam. And the weather was warm; dilli ki sardi was still playing chuppa chuppi.

“Dilli se Bangalore jaanewaali Nizamuddin – yeshwantpur Sampark Kranti Express che bajkar tees minut par platform number saat se rawana hogi” (train from Delhi to Bangalore, some stupid express, leaves from platform number 7 at 30 minutes past six) said the announcement at the railway station. Exactly six thirty, the train jerked ahead and began to move. Within minutes it was outside Delhi. Sailor stood at the door. The wind ran through his hair and ruffled it. He didn’t bother to set it right.

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Listening to: The Temptations - Buttercup