The question of the whys and the wherefores

It is irritating! Someone asks a why/how/where/when/what question when the answer is seemingly obvious.

Most of the times, it is Momma dearest who asks such questions, but she wins the battle most of the times

Momma: where are you going?

Sailor: to the moon

Momma: bus or flight?

Momma: where are you going?

Sailor: I am eloping

Momma: oh! Reminding you there is no money in your account. You can’t draw from the ATM

Momma: why are you late?

Sailor: my girlfriend is pregnant

Momma: thank goodness you have a girlfriend.

We’ll come back to Momma.

This one is my EX-ex- ex GL

EGF:(on the phone, from her room) sorry, I am late. Where are you?

Sailor: downstairs, talking to your mom!

One of my friends, who on finding my cell switched off called my land line

Moron Friend: dyuude! Where are you?

Sailor: moron, I am in the loo, checking if I have haemorrhoids!

When I met this friend the next day,

Moron Friend: how is your bottom problem? I hope you are ok

Some relative, who came home, was introduced to me.

Relative: so, you are a doctor? (After boring me with his absolutely unremarkable medical history)

Sailor: no. I am actually a quack with an original practicing license. I charge more than a doctor to listen.

(No wonder I am such a flop in the family circles)

Back to momma

Momma: why do you need so much money?

Sailor: I want to buy cocaine

Momma: buy petrol for your bike. It is cheaper.

Sailor(to a friend) : hello! how do you do?

friend: ah, the same way as anyone else i guess, man on top. but she can be a bitch sometimes

Many such moments. The list is endless. Will update when I can recall.

----------------
Listening to: Billy Joel - We Didn't Start the Fire
via FoxyTunes

Tinted

Yeah, my spectacles pair is back.

For three years it has rested on my crooked nose bridge, without complaining.

Probably one of the worst handled pair ever; it has been mangled, contorted and disfigured like a piece of clay.

It managed to hold fort all the same.

Since the day I started using spectacles. The lenses have been photo grey; ‘Magic glasses’ which turn grey on exposure to sunlight.

That explains my ‘tinted’ outlook on life.

When I first got this particular pair, I heard the frame was ‘unbreakable’

So, like a true follower of great Socrates and Galileo, I questioned the ‘validity’ of the statement. Of course didn’t go on top of the leaning tower of Pisa and drop it.

What I actually did was, I just dropped once to test and it fell a million times accidentally. The unbreakable tag was correct.

People sometimes sleep in their day clothes, I sleep in my spectacles.

The tinted lenses were a refuge for my eyes. Ogle for as long as forever at the cute chicks that walked past without them having to see my eyeballs turn; Creepy, but I liked it.

But tragedy has to strike the happy life.

The power shot suddenly and I had to change my pair.

No tinted lenses this time. For the first time I have to look at the world without the shades of Grey. Already, I do not like the view.

I am going back and getting them tinted again.

pictures from the weekend birding trip to hebbal lake

Photographs courtesy Nikhil

----------------
Listening to: REM - Everybody Hurts
via FoxyTunes

A ticket to time

Summer is over. The rains are here. It is time to wonder and ponder.

I can go out and claim, “I think; therefore I am” but I think too much. One of these thought overdoses brought me to this post.

Well actually I read this post on a friend’s blog. It is about God and all.

So, Stygian begins to think. What is wrong? No offence meant or nothing against the person who wrote the post, but it is intriguing. How today’s world has nothing to offer except faith in God, and that too false.

A friend of mine, who wanted something, tried once failed. Next thing, he is begging to good old god to get it for him. Initiative man, take it in your hands. Don’t believe that there is some demented old man out there who will listen to your prayers and grant your wishes.

Sailor was just about typing this, when there was a bomb blast. Just another day around here. Hundreds killed mostly innocents, all in the name of the one and only.

And then the news, some random fuckwits are fighting to be classified as a backward race. Funny. This is probably the only place in the world where people celebrate being called backward and raise their hands and voices and what not to be classified as backward.

I am sure the study of sexual behaviour in retarded horses would be a better use of time.

In the midst of thought, I came across this.

And how true it is.

My friend, The Lone Wolf once said, we are the generation with a lost cause. I ll add to him, we have no cause.

We don’t make money. We fight. To be called backward, to bring down people who are making money, we are fighting NOT to move beyond ourselves.

If we followed what religious texts said about conquering jealousy, and envy and other such things with utmost singularity, we probably didn’t have to fight terrorism.

But no, we have to fight; the problem is no one knows who is fighting whom.

At least it was better in the 60’s and the 70’s people were either fighting to stop war or they were fighting the war. And then there were people generally making music, wearing shocking clothes, not bothered about politicians and their talk. And look what they gave us. A whole new world of music, a new way of thinking: a revolution.

Flip side they set the limit. In every direction and we can’t seem to breach it. our music - pussy cat dolls, madonna and her sagging botoxed boobs; our clothes - there are none, forget colour; hair - everything is cut short; our games - call of duty, NFS, et al.

I so wish I was there; in the seventies.

Or I wish I was in the forties.

There was the Great War. I could have just fought the war. Here at home, I could have just said I taking off from school to fight for independence.

There was a cause.

And then here I am ruing the lost times. A significant time of history of which all I can do is read from history text books and say, “close that damn book and get a life.”

There is a world out there waiting to be conquered. no i have a better way to make the world submit to me.

i ll make 'em read my writing. devious !

----------------
Listening to: Led Zeppelin - Stairway to Heaven
via FoxyTunes